Meet Philly’s newest sports franchise

What was the most Philacentric news last week — the DC33 strike that has trash piling up on our streets, or that the city will get to join a trash league — the Women's National Basketball Association?

Cheap joke. I like the WNBA, because I like Black lesbians.

Only half a cheap joke. The league has a heavy concentration of Black lesbians, a good number of whom are racists, according to Black conservative Jason Whitlock. 

But that’s a serious subject, and that’s what I want to avoid on this blistering hot day.

Let’s talk about the Philly franchise.

Why will it take five years to get it on its feet?

Lack of capital? It'll be owned by the Sixers billionaire owner, Josh Harris. So that’s not it.

Lack of talent? No.

Bureaucracy? That seems likely.

In the good old days, before the Philadelphia Daily News became the Walking Dead, by this time it would have launched a contest to name the team, as it did every time the Philadelphia Zoo, the nation’s first, came up with a new animal. Not that I am drawing a line between the Black Lesbian WNBA and animals.

Funny story —

One time the zoo came up with a new gorilla and asked the public to name it. The People Paper jumped in, got hundreds, maybe thousands of suggestions, and came up with the name of Roger King.

Which just happened to be the name of a Philadelphia assistant district attorney, who sued the paper.

His name was submitted obviously by someone with a grudge, something the paper was unaware of, but some money was paid to make the suit go away.

Many decades later, after his death, King was back in the headlines after many of his prosecutions were found to be tainted by misconduct.

Anyway. . . 

Let’s name the prospective Philadelphia franchise.

Top of mind for me was Liberty Belles, and, yes, I know it has been used before.

A little more thought, and voila! The Philadelphia Love Birds.

Love because, you know, City of …

And Birds because we can cheer “Go Birds!” It worked for the Eagles, right?

If you can beat that, do so in the comments.

Now, obviously, North Philly’s own Dawn Staley — the winning coach of three NCAA Women’s Basketball National Championships — should be the coach. Maybe starting point guard. She is the only person to win the Naismith Award as both a player and a coach.

She should also be given a piece of the team’s ownership.

As a player, a person, and a Philadelphian, she is without peer. If you want more, here is her bio. 

Hell, a couple of NBA teams have thought about recruiting her.

For Philly, hiring her is a no-brainer.

Am I right, fans?

,